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Two and a Half Men
IMDB Rating: 7.1/10 from 195,999 votes
Release: 22 Sep 2003 /

Two and a Half Men

Genre: Comedy, Tv Shows
Director:
Stars: , , ,
Synopsis: A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

Season 1

Episode 0 - Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot
Episode 1 - Pilot
Episode 2 - Big Flappy Bastards
Episode 3 - Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Episode 4 - If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Episode 5 - The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
Episode 6 - Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Episode 7 - If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Episode 8 - Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
Episode 9 - Phase One, Complete
Episode 10 - Merry Thanksgiving
Episode 11 - Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Episode 12 - Camel Filters and Pheromones
Episode 13 - Sarah Like Puny Alan
Episode 14 - I Can't Afford Hyenas
Episode 15 - Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Episode 16 - That Was Saliva, Alan
Episode 17 - Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Episode 18 - An Old Flame with a New Wick
Episode 19 - I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Episode 20 - Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Episode 21 - No Sniffing, No Wowing
Episode 22 - My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Episode 23 - Just Like Buffalo
Episode 24 - Can You Feel My Finger

Season 2

Episode 1 - Back Off Mary Poppins
Episode 2 - Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Episode 3 - A Bag Full of Jawea
Episode 4 - Go Get Mommy's Bra
Episode 5 - Bad News from the Clinic
Episode 6 - The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Episode 7 - A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Episode 8 - Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Episode 9 - Yes, Monsignor
Episode 10 - The Salmon Under My Sweater
Episode 11 - Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Episode 12 - A Lung Full of Alan
Episode 13 - Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów
Episode 14 - Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Episode 15 - Smell the Umbrella Stand
Episode 16 - Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
Episode 17 - Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!
Episode 18 - It Was Mame, Mom
Episode 19 - A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
Episode 20 - I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Episode 21 - A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Episode 22 - That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Episode 23 - Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Episode 24 - Does This Smell Funny to You

Season 3

Episode 1 - Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
Episode 2 - Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Episode 3 - Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Episode 4 - Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Episode 5 - We Called It Mr. Pinky
Episode 6 - Hi, Mr. Horned One
Episode 7 - Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Episode 8 - That Voodoo That I Do Do
Episode 9 - Madame and Her Special Friend
Episode 10 - Something Salted and Twisted
Episode 11 - Santa's Village of the Damned
Episode 12 - That Special Tug
Episode 13 - Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Episode 14 - Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Episode 15 - My Tongue Is Meat
Episode 16 - Ergo, the Booty Call
Episode 17 - The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
Episode 18 - The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Episode 19 - Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Episode 20 - Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Episode 21 - And the Plot Moistens
Episode 22 - Just Once with Aunt Sophie
Episode 23 - Arguments for the Quickie
Episode 24 - That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

Season 4

Episode 1 - Working for Caligula
Episode 2 - Who's Vod Kanockers
Episode 3 - The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
Episode 4 - A Pot Smoking Monkey
Episode 5 - A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Episode 6 - Apologies for the Frivolity
Episode 7 - Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Episode 8 - Release the Dogs
Episode 9 - Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Episode 10 - Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Episode 11 - Walnuts and Demerol
Episode 12 - Castrating Sheep in Montana
Episode 13 - Don't Worry, Speed Racer
Episode 14 - That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
Episode 15 - My Damn Stalker
Episode 16 - Young People Have Phlegm Too
Episode 17 - I Merely Slept with a Commie
Episode 18 - It Never Rains in Hooterville
Episode 19 - Smooth as a Ken Doll
Episode 20 - Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Episode 21 - Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Episode 22 - Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
Episode 23 - Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin
Episode 24 - Prostitutes and Gelato

Season 5

Episode 1 - Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Episode 2 - Media Room Slash Dungeon
Episode 3 - Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Episode 4 - City of Great Racks
Episode 5 - Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Episode 6 - Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Episode 7 - Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
Episode 8 - Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Episode 9 - Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
Episode 10 - Kinda Like Necrophilia
Episode 11 - Meander to Your Dander
Episode 12 - A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Episode 13 - The Soil is Moist
Episode 14 - Winky-Dink Time
Episode 15 - Rough Night in Hump Junction
Episode 16 - Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Episode 17 - Fish in a Drawer
Episode 18 - If My Hole Could Talk
Episode 19 - Waiting for the Right Snapper

Season 6

Episode 1 - Taterhead Is Our Love Child
Episode 2 - Pie Hole, Herb
Episode 3 - Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Episode 4 - The Flavin' and the Mavin'
Episode 5 - A Jock Strap in Hell
Episode 6 - It's Always Nazi Week
Episode 7 - Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Episode 8 - Pinocchio's Mouth
Episode 9 - The Mooch at the Boo
Episode 10 - He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
Episode 11 - The Devil's Lube
Episode 12 - Thank God for Scoliosis
Episode 13 - I Think You Offended Don
Episode 14 - David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
Episode 15 - I'd Like to Start with the Cat
Episode 16 - She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
Episode 17 - The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
Episode 18 - My Son's Enormous Head
Episode 19 - The Two Finger Rule
Episode 20 - Hello, I am Alan Cousteau
Episode 21 - Above Exalted Cyclops
Episode 22 - Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Episode 23 - Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
Episode 24 - Baseball Was Better with Steroids

Season 7

Episode 1 - 818-jklpuzo
Episode 2 - Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Episode 3 - Mmm, Fish. Yum.
Episode 4 - Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
Episode 5 - For the Sake of the Child
Episode 6 - Give Me Your Thumb
Episode 7 - Untainted by Filth
Episode 8 - Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
Episode 9 - Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Episode 10 - That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room'
Episode 11 - Warning, It's Dirty
Episode 12 - Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Episode 13 - Yay, No Polyps
Episode 14 - Crude and Uncalled For
Episode 15 - Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
Episode 16 - Tinkle Like a Princess
Episode 17 - I Found Your Moustache
Episode 18 - Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Episode 19 - Keith Moon Is Vomiting in his Grave
Episode 20 - I Called Him Magoo
Episode 21 - Gumby with a Pokey
Episode 22 - This Is Not Gonna End Well

Season 8

Episode 1 - Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Episode 2 - A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
Episode 3 - A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Episode 4 - Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Episode 5 - The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Episode 6 - Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Episode 7 - The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Episode 8 - Springtime on a Stick
Episode 9 - A Good Time in Central Africa
Episode 10 - Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Episode 11 - Dead from the Waist Down
Episode 12 - Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
Episode 13 - Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
Episode 14 - Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Episode 15 - Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Episode 16 - That Darn Priest

Season 9

Episode 1 - Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
Episode 2 - People Who Love Peepholes
Episode 3 - Big Girls Don't Throw Food
Episode 4 - Nine Magic Fingers
Episode 5 - A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
Episode 6 - The Squat and the Hover
Episode 7 - Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Episode 8 - Thank You for the Intercourse
Episode 9 - Frodo's Headshots
Episode 10 - A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
Episode 11 - What a Lovely Landing Strip
Episode 12 - One False Move, Zimbabwe!
Episode 13 - Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Episode 14 - A Possum on Chemo
Episode 15 - The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
Episode 16 - Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Episode 17 - Not in My Mouth!
Episode 18 - The War Against Gingivitis
Episode 19 - Palmdale, Ech
Episode 20 - Grandma's Pie
Episode 21 - Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
Episode 22 - Why We Gave Up Women
Episode 23 - The Straw in My Donut Hole
Episode 24 - Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

Season 10

Episode 1 - I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Episode 2 - A Big Bag of Dog
Episode 3 - Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Episode 4 - You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
Episode 5 - That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
Episode 6 - Ferrets, Attack!
Episode 7 - Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Episode 8 - Something My Gynecologist Said
Episode 9 - I Scream When I Pee
Episode 10 - One Nut Johnson
Episode 11 - Give Santa a Tail-Hole
Episode 12 - Welcome to Alancrest
Episode 13 - Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Episode 14 - Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Episode 15 - Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Episode 16 - Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Episode 17 - Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Episode 18 - The 9:04 from Pemberton
Episode 19 - Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon
Episode 20 - Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Episode 21 - Another Night with Neil Diamond
Episode 22 - My Bodacious Vidalia
Episode 23 - Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped

Season 11

Episode 1 - Nangnangnangnang
Episode 2 - I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
Episode 3 - This Unblessed Biscuit
Episode 4 - Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Episode 5 - Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Episode 6 - Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
Episode 7 - Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Episode 8 - Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
Episode 9 - Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
Episode 10 - On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
Episode 11 - Tazed in the Lady Nuts
Episode 12 - Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Episode 13 - Bite Me, Supreme Court
Episode 14 - Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe
Episode 15 - Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
Episode 16 - How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Episode 17 - Welcome Home, Jake
Episode 18 - West Side Story
Episode 19 - Lan mao shi zai wuding shang
Episode 20 - Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Episode 21 - Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Episode 22 - Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

Season 12

Episode 1 - The Ol' Mexican Spinach
Episode 2 - A Chic Bar in Ibiza
Episode 3 - Glamping in a Yurt
Episode 4 - Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
Episode 5 - Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Episode 6 - Alan Shot a Little Girl
Episode 7 - Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
Episode 8 - Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
Episode 9 - Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
Episode 10 - Here I Come, Pants!
Episode 11 - For Whom the Booty Calls
Episode 12 - A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
Episode 13 - Boompa Loved His Hookers
Episode 14 - Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
Episode 15 - Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 & 2
Episode 16 - Episode 16

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