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Parker, a.k.a. "Every other Jason Statham film ever...but this time
with a ten gallon". I won't be going in a detailed review, because if
you've seen one Jason Statham flick you've seen every Jason Statham
flick. Don't believe me? Here are some common trends I've noticed
across his other films also present in this one: 1. Obligatory scene
where he runs away from the hospital, minutes after waking up from
being shot, beaten and/or mauled by a bear - check. 2. Semi-anonymous
protagonist that is just a ridiculous badass for no apparent reason -
check. 3. Whatever dubious activities he takes part in are explained to
the viewer as honorable in a "everyone gets dirty" kind of way, because
you know, JS has a code he adheres to and that automatically makes
crime acceptable - check. 4. Women are magnetically compelled to his
junk by his mere presence - check. Fast and fancy cars, because. (No I
didn't forget the rest of the sentence) - check. 5.Walking around
seemingly unfazed with broken appendages, ribs, collar bones, multiple
gunshot wounds, knife stabbing wounds and/or bear mace - check.
All and all it's an okayish film, if you've never seen another Jason
Statham flick before, but at this point it's just stupid to keep
casting him in the same role, in the same film, over and over. It's
obvious he's not a brilliant actor, but he has a lot more to offer than
what is currently being churned out. Speaking of acting don't get me
started on Jeniffer Lopez - her acting is just wince-inducing.
Apparently the director thought the same and cast her in the film as a
walking butt to centre shots around in the time Jason is off screen,
presumably to make JS' male fans feel less awkward and have an excuse
about having an erection throughout the movie, because we all know how
unsure of themselves "bros" are.
It's a completely forgettable film you will probably regret paying
actual real world money to see, because you will feel like you've seen
this film at least 4 other times.
Tags for Parker Full Movie
, Jennifer Lopez
, Michael Chiklis
, Wendell Pierce
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