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Hello, Dolly!
IMDB Rating: 7.2/10 from 9,232 votes
Release: 18 December 1969 (Netherlands) /

Hello, Dolly!

Genre: Comedy, Family, Music, Musical, Romance
Director: Gene Kelly,
Stars: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Synopsis: A matchmaker named Dolly Levi takes a trip to Yonkers, New York to see the "well-known unmarried half-a-millionaire," Horace Vandergelder. While there, she convinces him, his two stock clerks and his niece and her beau to go to New York City. In New York, she fixes Vandergelder's clerks up with the woman Vandergelder had been courting, and her shop assistant (Dolly has designs of her own on Mr. Vandergelder, you see). Written by Randy Goldberg <goldberg@nymc.edu>

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Critic Reviews


Spoilers Ahead:

Do you enjoy grown men in flaming red suits twirling plates for a half an hour, jumping up in the air with serving platters as if they have frogs in their undershorts? How about food tricks mixed in like this is the amazing Kreskin? You know, they throw the food up in the air and what a miracle? It lands on the dishes, isn't that freaking amazing? Show of hands, how many people thought the food would land on the floor? See, if Gene Kelly were a director, instead of a dancer, he would have known that the scene is boring to anyone who can get ten neurons firing. Want to see why 20th Century Fox cleared out the boardroom after this movie went down in flames? Watch this piece of legendary poop. Babs begins talking as soon as the movie starts doing the worst Mae West impersonation you will ever witness. Babs, buy a mirror honey, you are as close to Mae West as I am to Channing Tatum. OK, buy a clue. Walter Matthau's shop assistants: when they were casting these roles did the calling sheet say: wanted bad acting, talentless boobs as effeminate as possible, no traditional macho men wanted only girlie men need apply. Yes, they are after those two women with the bad hats dressed like draperies. About the same probability that I got off the Hindenburg this afternoon. Please, give us a break; they would date each other.

There is a reason why Babs croons Hello Dolly for ten minutes until you will be looking lovingly at your cutlery: the rest of the score is dreadful. Yes, I loved that fifty pound dress she can barely walk in, oh, what a thrill. She takes three minutes to sing the first verse and does an encore. They were probably rewriting those other eternal classics: It Takes A Director, When The Parade Runs You Over, If You Ain't Got Intelligence, It Only Takes A Vomit Bag, these are the putative masterpieces you adore. Look, you can tell that Walter loathes Babs and vice versa. He is a comedian what is he doing in this movie? Do they look like a couple to you? Was the casting director on an IV when he put this ensemble together? I know Ice Ages that move faster than this boring piece of crap. Hey, do not take my word for it, it almost destroyed 20th Century Fox. People were cleaning out their desks after this hit the theaters. Keep a high voltage source near your chair, you will need it to wake yourself up with.

Babs engages her mouth at Warp factor eight, it never stops prattling, chattering until you will heave every heavy object, in your living room, at your set. She has this oozing arrogance, emetic, smarmy self pleasuring, mugging at the camera that will just grate upon your nerves. What is with the park and the gymnastics? What is Ringling Brothers in town with the circus? Every time Gene has a dead spot, he throws in more gymnastics. They should have cast all the chefs at Benihanas. When I say a giant piece of poop, boring like waiting for the sun to go Red Giant, you have to see this to believe it. The movie puts the capital C in Crap. When my aunt, a big Babs fan, dragged me to watch this, as a little boy, people were leaving en masse halfway through the movie. By the end, there were twenty people out of five hundred. Do not show this to the suicidal. EXCRUCIATING MALODOROUS EXCREMENT

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