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||IMDB Rating: 4.2/10 from 152 votes
||Release: 4 October 2009 (USA) /
||Director: Michael Neel,
||Stars: Bill Gage, Chris Fidler, Cyce Sadsad, Dinah Lane, Elizabeth Rose, Ethan Zohn, Jenna Morasca, John Cleary, Judith Kalaora, Larry Jay Tish, Luis Negrón, Matthew Catanzano, Michaela Reggio, Nathaniel Sylva, Robert J. La Trémouille
||Synopsis: Do you like blood; gore? Are you into cutting; slashing? Is cannibalism more your speed? Or maybe monsters; evil children get you going? Whatever your ghoulish pleasure, we have a tale for you. In the tradition of Creepshow; Tales from the Crypt, DRIVE-IN HORRORSHOW features five terrifying tales of horror. Written by Anonymous
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I really wanted to like this, not least because I'm a big fan of that
vanishing and venerable phenomenon, the drive-in. Alas, I've come away
with a mixed reaction.
The overall conceit---a postapocalyptic drive-in run by mutants,
zombies, and the undead for a similar clientèle---is a fun one for a
horror film. I've been left sitting in the last car present in a
drive-in in the middle of the night, and a deserted one that's still
running in real life is creepy enough, let alone one that's at the end
of the world. Best, this fictional drive-in features what few real
drive-ins do today---that staple of yesteryear, the B movie.
The problem is that we have some F movies included in this anthology.
In that category, I'd have to put the first film, "Pig." I believe the
filmmakers fancy it to be in the company of such revenge films as "Last
House on the Left" or "I Spit on Your Grave," but for a variety of
reasons, the comparisons don't work. The film started on a hopeful, if
low-budget, note (the frat's front door reads Delta Omega
Alpha--D.O.A.). But that's just about the last I liked of it, except
for the fact of how the woman managed to get the man into the position
he's in--a nicely ironic touch. The actors do their best with what
they've been given, which isn't much. The female lead has been given a
load of vituperative histrionics, and the film quickly degenerates into
a lot of shouted imprecations and ceaseless torture. The film suffers
further from the fact that the timing of the first half is all wrong,
and I started to get the giggles because of it. This vignette isn't
scary, suspenseful, or triumphal---it's alternately gross, depressing,
preposterous, and annoying.
"The Closet," about an unhappy boy of the Space Age, is rather better.
The characters are over-the-top and unidimensional, but they are
intended to be. Although one can see the end coming, it's nicely done.
The boy playing the lead is surprisingly good for such a young actor.
My main quibbles with the film are some poor pacing and some
anachronisms (for example, glaringly, the cell phone; less so, the
answering machine). Surely the writers know some people over the age of
50---they should have tried talking to them before committing images to
film, especially since some of the set dressing (such as the lighted
globe) was really good.
"Fall Apart" isn't big on action or plot, but it isn't meant to be. (My
one argument with that fact is the plot threads that start and then go
nowhere. Why?) The main character is likable enough, and he meets a
terrible fate, which is the point of this one. It's a gross-out effects
film, which starts creepily and builds to total nastiness, and the
effects are well done. Unfortunately, the budget seems to have gone
largely to making those effects; the small budget shows excessively
Of all the films, "Meat Man" may be closest to the creepy films and
mags of the drive-in's heyday. It's certainly close to the real sorts
of scary tales and rumors we told each other as children. The script,
direction, and editing are crisp and well paced. The way these kids
think is spot-on. Even the preposterous game they play with the freezer
is on target---it's exactly the kind of game (that makes no sense to
adults) that kids would invent. The child actors do a wonderful job
portraying the brothers. Overall, I liked it. (But what did I miss at
the beginning? What was with the Frankenstein monster in the bushes?)
Finally, "The Watcher" is 99% unwatchable. If Dark Carnival, the film
festival I saw this at, had stuck to its schedule, and shown this one
last, I'd have gone home after the few shots of some spectacular
scenery, and caught one of my TV shows instead. The makers claim it was
inspired by such classics as TCM, but there is nothing here of what
made TCM a landmark film in the genre. The characters are unengaging,
and there isn't a bright bulb in the marquee. These have to be THE
stupidest characters I have ever seen in a film, and that includes the
recent "Timber Falls." There is nothing scary or disturbing here,
except perhaps the notion that "starring" on "Survivor" is an entrée to
the film business.
The bits in between the vignettes are not particularly funny, but the
guy playing The Projectionist does so with enthusiastic, committed
glee, and the concessionaire Teenage Axe Victim is an inspired touch.
There are plenty of trilogy-formatted B films, and I think that
"Drive-In Horrorshow" could benefit by becoming one, that is, lose the
first and the last vignette.
Tags for Drive-In Horrorshow Full Movie
, Chris Fidler
, Cyce Sadsad
, Dinah Lane
, Elizabeth Rose
, Ethan Zohn
, Jenna Morasca
, John Cleary
, Judith Kalaora
, Larry Jay Tish
, Luis Negrón
, Matthew Catanzano
, Michaela Reggio
, Nathaniel Sylva
, Robert J. La Trémouille
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