Watch Carnage for the Destroyer putlocker
||IMDB Rating: 3.9/10 from 87 votes
||Release: 3 March 2006 (USA) /
||Genre: Comedy, Drama, Horror
||Director: Chris Seaver,
||Stars: A.J. Stabone, Dana McBoobs, Dave White, Emily Meister, Jen Stone, Jeremy Cottrell, Matt Meister, Meredith Host, Teen Ape, Travis Indovina
||Synopsis: A group of teenagers set up the annual Halloween's Haunted House exhibit. Teen Ape finds himself a large breasted lover, but the gang accidentally wake up The Destroyer - an ancient evil god that takes out its deadly wrath on the gang.
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Watch Carnage for the Destroyer - Alternative Versions.
There are terrible movies. There are unwatchable movies. And then there
is the work of Chris Seaver.
Seaver is the guy behind the appropriately-named Low Budget Pictures, a
Troma wannabe that shot all of its features right on VHS using what I'm
guessing was Seaver's dad's camcorder. With a little gumption, they has
even managed to sell their work at various conventions, building a name
for themselves among the Troma/Sci-Fi Channel/Z movie/indie comics geek
crowd. And so Seaver and Company finally managed to splurge, upgrading
to a 24p digital video camera and blowing $2,000 on what I think was
supposed to be a horror-comedy.
The $2,000 movie in question is "Carnage for the Destroyer!" previous
titled "Carnage for Dummies" and then previous titled "Appokolyn the
Destroyer." One wonders if Seaver spent 90% of his production trying to
think about a nifty title. It gives a new low to homemade movies that
managed to scrounge up a nationwide DVD release; this is a work of
sheer incompetence, an unholy mess of a film, the kind that makes you
hope and pray for the quick release of death. But hey, at least it's
got that 'nifty title.'
Actually, "Carnage" is worse than that. The film starts with a lousy
idea: let's watch heavy metal junkies debate pop-culture! Hardy! Har!
Har! The result is a bunch of death metal kids running around, barely
audible (thanks to the sloppy production that forgot to include such
items as workable microphones), pretending to be some "Nightmare on
Elm's Street PART 3" reject characters. The entire movie can best be
summed up by one scene, in which LBP mascot Teenape masturbates onto a
woman's breast. Teenape is some dork, probably Seaver himself, dressed
in a ape mask and swinger clothes. He'll enter an LBP film at random,
have raunchy sex, then leave... none of which serves the plot or is
remotely funny. That is, unless your idea of 'funny' is watching some
teenage idiot fun around in an ape mask masturbating. Why are we
watching this? Why are we wasting our time with close-ups of Teenape
jizzing on some fat girl's breasts? Because Seaver doesn't have the
first clue how to make an actual movie, that's why.
Nor can he write a script, at least not one that's not dependent on an
endless chain of references for laughs. What's not improvised on camera
(and from the look of the thing and the awkwardness of the
performances, I'd guess that ninety percent of the movie was ad-libbed)
is watered down into cheap steals from better sources. Lines like
"We'll fight them From Dusk 'till Dawn at least until the morning" make
the assumption that familiarity breeds hipness. However, hipness is not
something you can graft onto a film no matter HOW MANY pop-culture
references you place into your movies. What Seaver forgets is that your
pop-joke MUST HAVE A POINT. And I think this hits to the heart of the
matter about WHY Chris Seaver movies blow. His entire movies don't have
so much as a single point to grab onto. They are just random
expressions of insecurity and immaturity and ho-hum,
been-there-down-that, perversions caught on tape. You know you are in
trouble when your idea of 'perverted' is even considered boring by most
And so, if you need an example of pop-culture jokes that work... then
consider the following example: Pulp Fiction. Seaver is obsessed with
Tarantino. SO it can't be too hard for him to 'get this.' In Pulp
Fiction, Travolta is arguing with his drug dealer about drugs in
Amsterdam compared to drugs in the states. Travolta arrogantly assumes
that in a free-love, free-drug society like Amsterdam THAT pot MUST be
better. To which, his drug-dealer replies, "Hey, I'll take a Pepsi
Challenge with their drugs to my drugs any day!" THe pop-joke is funny
because it takes a familiar cliché, the PEPSI CHALLENGE, and converts
it into believable language to express the moods and feelings of the
time (i.e. a generation saturated by corporate culture). ANd yet, all
Seaver seems to get from Tarantino and Troma is that they are
pop-culture drenched, violent movies.
So as long as Seaver looks at these films as nothing but porn, then I
guess we can't expect him to make anyihing other than bad porn. The odd
thing, though, is that "Seaver" has multiple connections to Lloyd
Kaufman and Troma. Lloyd has even appeared in many Seaver films. Yet
because Troma apparently stayed away this film when it came time to
actually release the thing, that duty came to Tempe Video, which is
essentially a bottom-rung Troma would-be. Like Troma, they know they
can sell anything they buy if they slap this film into a nice box. But
even for the Z-grade Tempe, "Carnage" is a new low.
It does not boggle my mind that movies as bad as "Carnage" can get
made. With cheap cameras and workable editing equipment, everybody's a
movie-maker nowadays, and amateur flicks like this are getting churned
out in basements and backyards across the globe. What boggles my mind
is that somebody thought that people who weren't actually involved in
the production of "Carnage" would actually want to see it. I cannot say
that this is the worst movie ever made; too many homegrown productions
are out there, and surely millions of them are this painfully inept.
But I can say that "Carnage" is unquestionably among the very worst
movies to ever land an official, professional public release.
A final thought. I'm told that there are 'at least' some people on the
fringe (who visit horror conventions) that actually DO like this movie.
This is true. Also, some people think Ashlee Simpson is an accomplished
musician, some people think the capital of Canada is Milwaukee, and
some people like to drink other people's urine. Good night.
Tags for Carnage for the Destroyer Full Movie
, Dana McBoobs
, Dave White
, Emily Meister
, Jen Stone
, Jeremy Cottrell
, Matt Meister
, Meredith Host
, Teen Ape
, Travis Indovina
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