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Blood Diner
IMDB Rating: 5.1/10 from votes
Release: July 1987 (USA) /

Blood Diner

Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director:
Stars: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Synopsis: Two cannibals/health food diner owners are on a wacky quest to restore life to the five million year old goddess Shitaar. Aided by their uncle's brain and penis, the two set about getting the required parts - virgins, assorted body parts from whores, and the ingredients for a blood buffet. Their adversaries are the police: the chief with a Russian accent, the player detective, and the new Yorker with an Australian accent. Written by Erik Swanson [email protected]

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Critic Reviews


This movie is the classic old tale of two men trying to construct an Egyptian goddess for their castrated uncle from the severed body parts of young women.

This is one of those rare unknown cinema gems that reminds you of what 80's horror/slasher movies were all about and why video cameras were ever invented in the first place. It also contains the best movie line ever written: "On that night, on this mission, I lost my gentitals and my life." And yes, Uncle Anwar really says "gentitals".

The plot of this movie is thrown together as loosely as the body parts used to construct Shiitar. The movie is lightly based on Blood Feast with some horrible special effects and 80's hairdos thrown in.

There are more classic moments in Blood Diner than there are in most B horror movies combined. You'll be laughing all the way to the blood buffet from the weird stuffed talking dummy in the rival diner to the guy getting his head smashed by a car with hydraulics which causes an onlooker to ask "hey man, you OK?". The movie even has token 80's horror flick nudity when the brothers go into a topless aerobics class (don't ask why) and mow everyone down with a machine gun. Hey, it happens. Another epic scene is when a fat guy driving a van and listening to mambo music repeatedly runs over a dude in a failed yet hilarious attempt to kill him.

If you haven't seen this movie I suggest you quit your job and study it for the next few months. You'll be swinging a meat cleaver screaming SHIIIIIITAAAAAAAR!!!!! before you know it.

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