Jerry gets a shocking revelation when Elaine reveals that she faked every orgasm while they were dating. Jerry then pleads with Elaine to get a second chance in bed. Meanwhile, Kramer turns George onto the erotic pleasures of fruit, specifically the mango. Written by halo1k

Kramer's new girlfriend is what Jerry calls a low-talker, someone whose soft voice makes her unintelligible. She's a clothing designer and her latest idea is a puffy, pirate-like shirt. What Jerry doesn't realize is that he agreed to wear the puffy shirt on the Today Show. George has moved back in with his parents and his mother is driving him crazy about getting a job. A chance encounter leads him to become a hand model. Suddenly his hands are his main concern until he has an unfortunate encounter in Jerry's dressing room. Written by garykmcd

George loses his glasses at the health club, but his plans to get a new pair using Kramer's discount backfires. Meanwhile, Jerry buys a black-market air conditioner - the Commando 8, and Elaine gets bit by a dog at the optometrist's office. Written by halo1k

Jerry, Kramer and Newman have reason to suspect that their accountant, Barry Profit, is taking their money and using it to buy illegal narcotics. The three organize a stakeout to confirm their suspicions, while Elaine, who had a past relationship with Barry, denies it. George gets an interview at a company that manufactures women's underwear. Written by halo1k

Jerry and Elaine get asked to be the godparents for their friend's newborn baby. But unfortunately the position doesn't last very long when Elaine hires a drunken rabbi to perform the Bris. While at the hospital, Kramer thinks he found a pig-man while a mental patient jumps to his death and lands on George's car. Written by halo1k

Jerry dates an attractive tennis lines woman only to discover that she is hearing-impaired, but able to read lips. George gets caught acting like a slob on live television at the tennis match and gets dumped, so he tries to use the lip-reader to spy on his girlfriend to see if she's telling the truth. Kramer tries to prove that he can read lips as well as Jerry's girlfriend, while Elaine accidentally offends a limo driver and tries to make up for it, but the plans backfire. Written by halo1k

Kramer invests in a new new non-fat yogurt store, which becomes a hit in the city. Jerry and Elaine discover that they've been gaining weight and wonder if the yogurt really is non fat or not. Jerry tries to unravel this mystery while also dealing with a neighbor's kid who saw his act and the one rare instance where Jerry unleashes profanities on stage. Meanwhile, George runs into a former childhood acquaintance, Lloyd Braun, who is working on the mayoral campaign for incumbent Mayor Dinkins, but the campaign is quickly jeopardized when Elaine proposes a name tag system. The mayoral campaign is also jeopardized when Kramer dates one of the lab technicians and accidentally spills some of the yogurt into Giuliani's blood sample. Written by halo1k

Jerry regrets giving his longtime barber the heave-ho after he gets a ridiculous-looking haircut. George gets a job interview but the boss leaves him with a very cryptic ending. Kramer begs Elaine to let him take part in her charity bachelor auction. Written by halo1k

Jerry is desperate for his new girlfriend, a professional masseuse, to give him a massage but every hint or suggestion seems to fall on deaf ears. They go on a double date with George and his new girlfriend and it's obvious that Jerry's girlfriend doesn't like him, which drives George to extremes. Elaine is dating a man named Joel Rifkin - not the serial killer - but he seems oblivious to his name and how people react to it. Her attempts to get him to change his name isn't entirely successful. Kramer comes up with a new idea for a book - a coffee table book about coffee tables. Written by garykmcd

Jerry is deemed a racist when he purchases a Native American statue for Elaine. Kramer tries to get Elaine's company to publish his coffee table book. Elaine runs into a really creepy man on the subway who steals Frank's TV Guide and follows her to the Costanza's house. Meanwhile, George gets grounded when he has sex with a woman in his parents' bed. Written by halo1k

George decides to convert to Latvian Orthodox to impress a girl, against his angry parents' objections. Meanwhile, Kramer converts a nun at the church, and Jerry takes a peek in his girlfriend's medicine cabinet and is stunned by what he finds. Written by halo1k

At a movie theater's restroom, Elaine, realizing she doesn't have any toilet paper left, asks the woman in the next stall (Jami Gertz) if she has any toilet paper to spare, but the woman refuses, claiming that she can't spare a square. Elaine pleads with the woman, but she leaves, ignoring Elaine. The woman returns to her seat, and is revealed as Jerry's girlfriend, Jane. Elaine is shown returning to her seat, with her new boyfriend Tony (played by Dan Cortese). The two women tell their dates about what had just happened. At Jerry's apartment, Kramer walks in, asking to use Jerry's phone. Jerry accuses Kramer of using it to call a telephone sex line. Elaine comes into the apartment, and describes to Jerry the incident that occurred at the movie theatre. Jerry realizes that the woman that Elaine was bickering for toilet paper was Jane. He tries to defend Jane, while not letting Elaine know that it was her. Meanwhile, George becomes enamored of Elaine's boyfriend, claiming that He's ... Written by Tummy AuGratin

En route to a dinner party, Jerry and Elaine stop off at a bakery and get held up when the bakery runs out of what they want to purchase. Meanwhile, George and Kramer, en route to said dinner party, stop off at a liquor store to buy a bottle of wine and have a hard time picking one out. Written by Anonymous

When Jerry runs into an old college friend, Diane, she asks how George is and what he's doing now. Not knowing what else to say, Jerry says George is a marine biologist - George had been talking about a science program on TV - and she takes a definite interest. They start seeing each other but a walk on the beach proves fateful. Kramer has gotten himself a car trunk full of golf balls and decides to go to the beach to practice his golf. He also gives Elaine a electronic organizer. Elaine is thrilled at the prospect of meeting famed Russian author, Testikov, but one of Jerry's practical jokes backfires. Written by garykmcd

Jerry is more than a little puzzled when his new girlfriend, Audrey, refuses to share a piece of apple pie with him. He's determined to find out why. When he goes to her favorite restaurant the chef, Poppie, promises them a special dinner. When Jerry sees that Poppie fails to wash his hands after going to the restroom, he faces his own dilemma. George comes across a new suit that he's told will go on sale in a few days. He goes out of his way to make sure it's still there when the sale starts. Elaine is taken aback when she sees a store mannequin that looks just like her. Kramer finds the perfect solution for a back itch. Written by garykmcd

Jerry visits a friend in hospital after he hears the guy needs cheering up. No matter how hard he tries though, Jerry can't get him to crack a smile. Elaine goes out on a date with someone Jerry recommends to her. On their first date he has a bit of a surprise for her. Kramer gets a job as a stand-in for an actor on a daytime soap opera and becomes friendly with another stand-in, Mickey, a 'little person'. One of Kramer's suggestions get Mickey into a bit of trouble. Written by garykmcd

Jerry gets a permanent discount at his local dry cleaners after returning a locket he found in a jacket pocket. His new girlfriend Meryl also claims the discount claiming to be Jerry's wife. It all gets out of hand when Jerry's Uncle Leo hears he's married. Elaine thinks an airline pilot who goes to the same health club but her interest wanes quickly when he wipes the top of her water bottle before drinking from it. George is in trouble when the pilot sees him urinating in the shower at the same club. Kramer has had trouble sleeping at home but not, unfortunately at the tanning studio. Written by garykmcd

In this two-part episode, Jerry's parents are visiting before leaving for France. Jerry has a hard time connecting with his new girlfriend Rachel because his parents are spending so much time in his apartment. George uses the trip to get out of volunteering for the Big Brother program, but is stunned to learn that his Little Brother is searching for his dad in France. Kramer and Morty team up to sell Morty's old belt-less trench coat The Executive to a vintage clothing store. Elaine's creepy new boyfriend is a close talker who enjoys spending time with Jerry's parents. Written by halo1k

George dates a woman who has a son. She invites him to her son's birthday party. While at the party, a fire breaks out in the kitchen. George screams FIRE!!! and knocks down the kids and the old lady as he cowardly tries to make his escape. The clown (not Bozo) puts out the fire with his big shoe. Meanwhile, over at Pendant Publishing, Elaine learns that she's up for a very nice promotion. But her main competition, Toby, is working with Kramer on his coffee table book. The three head over to the comedy club where Jerry is doing an important set where a writer from Entertainment Weekly will be present to do a review of the show for the magazine. Toby heckles Jerry. After Jerry gets the magazine and sees the mostly negative review of his show, he decides to do something unheard of - heckle the heckler. After he goes to Toby's office to heckle her, Toby gets so distraught that she leaves the building and a street sweeper severs her pinkie toe. Kramer gets the toe and hijacks a bus to ... Written by halo1k

Elaine, Jerry, George and Kramer visit friends in the Hamptons who've just had a baby. They're there for the weekend and George's new girlfriend Jane is there with him, even though they've never slept together. Jerry 's old girlfriend Rachel is there as well but trouble erupts when Rachel sees George naked and then giggles. Elaine takes an interest in the baby's pediatrician but isn't sure the compliment he paid her is necessarily a compliment. Kramer gets lobsters from a trap in the ocean not realizing that they belong to a professional fisherman. Written by garykmcd

A simple pick up line in the coffee shop proves Jerry's theory that every instinct George has is wrong. George decides to try the opposite, and that lands him an attractive girlfriend, a job offer with the New York Yankees, and an apartment that allows him to finally move out of his parent's house. Simultaneously, Elaine's mistake of stopping off for candy after learning her boyfriend was hospitalized causes her fortune to take a downturn. She gets kicked out of her apartment, breaks up with her boyfriend, and the candy causes a chain reaction that ultimately leads to the end of her longtime employer. Jerry sees the parallel between his two friends and realizes that he breaks even on just about everything. Kramer continues to take the book tour for his coffee table book, but Pendant Publishing's bankruptcy puts the book on the shelf. Written by halo1k

Jerry Seinfeld stars in this television comedy series as himself, a comedian. The premise of this sitcom is Jerry and his friends going through everyday life, discussing various quirky situations that we can all relate to (especially if we live in New York). The eccentric personalities of the offbeat characters who make up Jerry's social circle contribute to the fun. Written by Tad Dibbern DIBBERN_D@a1.mscf.upenn.edu